Beautiful Poetry

2005-10-31T22:02:00.000-06:00

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If you try to protect your backside,
I'll do it there, too.

2005-09-13T23:42:00.000-05:00

my dog makes Big dookie
cause my dad Drives a suzuki. *

please Don't Eat the urinal cakes
cause michael j Fox has the Shakes. ^

2005-03-22T23:03:00.000-06:00

Taco in my hand
Be sure to ask for Fire Sauce
The Bell gives me gas

2004-11-26T16:28:00.000-06:00

Hipitty dipitty doo
where did you take a poo?
Did you do it in the sink?
I think you did cuz it sure does stink,
Maybe in the bat mobile?
Maybe make sweet sweet love to a seal.
Oh poo, where art thou?
A flaming goat is shaving a cow.
I think I know where the poo might be...
I look in the toilet and what do I see!!!...
A little leprechaun with a twinkle in his eye and his hand in a poo
Silly little leprechaun didn't know what to do.
Yo momma is fat,
so I licked a rat.
The poo is safe in his bed all tucked in,
and something something that rhymes with in.

~Guest Entry by Jimmy~

2004-10-24T10:35:00.000-05:00

If your dingus is short
And your stream is weak
You'd better stand close
Or you'll piss on your feet

2004-07-28T14:16:00.000-05:00

Poopy poopy
Sad and droopy
I like my cream corn
Extra soupy

I said Hey
Let's cut to the chase
So she finished her drink
And I finished on her face

2004-06-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I couldn't find a sock
So I jizzed in your shoe

2004-06-08T12:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just can't find the words
To tell you how I feel
But rest assured when I tell you
That how I feel is real

The way it burns from deep inside
I can't wait until I see ya
So I can thank you face to face
For giving me Gonorrhea

2004-06-03T10:26:00.000-05:00

My friend Ken is black
Loves him some big white women
Will work for fat ass

2004-05-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's windy
Sometimes it's not
My cousin Cindy
Used to smoke pot

She drove a Ford Tempo
And bumped Cypress Hill
She fucked lots of guys
And wasn't on the pill

When she got arrested
She claimed "cataracts"
She gave up the weed
And now she smokes crack

2004-05-24T16:34:00.000-05:00

i hate the sun
i like the rain
sometimes i hurt myself
just to feel the pain

nobody likes me
cause i'm the fat goth chick
except for some of the black guys
because they say i'm "thick"

i want to live somewhere evil
it's hard to be goth in Branson
i'd sell my soul to the devil
to get peed on by Marilyn Manson

2004-05-16T04:19:00.000-05:00

Righty Tighty
Lefty Loosey
Your mom reminds me
Of Gary Busey

2004-05-04T13:08:00.000-05:00

Patiently waiting
The elevator doors close
Time to fart is now

2004-04-30T09:39:00.000-05:00

I am not a dog
I am not a cat
I am not a log
I am not a gnat

I am a goldfish
A goldfish through and through
And hanging from my ass
Is a long brown strand of pooh

You always forget to feed me
And last night I cried
Tonight I'll jump from my bowl
And commit fishy suicide

2004-04-30T00:21:00.000-05:00

Mike Bibby is gay
Mike Bibby is very, very gay.
I don't have much else to say
Except that Mike Bibby is really really fucking gay.

2004-04-26T00:49:00.000-05:00

I do not understand you, Mr. Foreign Man
You do not understand me, though you pretend that you can
You try to sell me Slurpees,
But your forehead has herpes
Please take your hot dog roller back to Pakistan.

2004-04-26T00:48:00.000-05:00

An education
Is a most important thing.
For those without one
End up working at Burger King.

2004-04-26T00:47:00.000-05:00

Re-arranging things is important
It can keep your life fresh
Cause if things were always the same
You'd be as boring as John Tesh

2004-04-23T12:47:00.000-05:00

Born in Ohio
My parents are both Twinkies
Love creamy filling

2004-04-19T11:56:00.000-05:00

My brother is ill
He has spinal meningitis
My mother has green poop
That's a symptom of colitis

Jill works at the strip club
She's an erotic dancer
She does a show with a broomstick
Now she has ovarian cancer

Kevin is blind like Ray Charles
That's why he wears shades
He also has sex with monkeys
That's why he has AIDS

2004-04-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

Midgets are short,
They are not tall.
If you push one hard enough,
That midget might fall.

Midgets get tossed,
And kicked down stairs.
Midgets die everyday,
And nobody cares.

Maybe their mothers smoked while they were pregnant,
Or sniffed a lot of glue.
So be nice to a midget today,
Because midgets have feelings, too.

2004-04-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

Four and three and two and one
Sex with Britney sounds like fun.
One and two and three and four
She likes the anal, of this I'm sure.

2004-04-08T14:14:00.000-05:00

Jen is a slut
She likes to smoke crack
I left a warm present
On the small of her back

2004-04-05T05:05:00.000-05:00

I'm on my way back home,
Heading southbound on 35.
The wind greets me with a cool hello,
Reminding me I'm still alive.

I can't wait to see my baby,
Mom says she's quite a catch.
But if I find out she's been fucking Jerry,
I'm gonna kill that bag of snatch.

2004-04-04T18:52:00.000-05:00

Porn is good, Porn is great
Pornography helps me masturbate.

2004-04-02T02:28:00.000-06:00

Wanting
Longing
Craving
Needing.
Pooh.

Squatting
Pushing
Grunting
Wiping.
Pooh.

2004-03-26T11:32:00.000-06:00

Jesus smoked pot
Jesus drank gin
Jesus liked to party
Jesus died for your sins

2004-03-26T11:08:00.000-06:00

The Stars won the game, but Turco got suspended,
My Grandpa's still angry because slavery ended.

2004-03-26T11:06:00.000-06:00

The Stars win, the Mavs lose,
Black people will steal your shoes.