About Me
Poetry makes my world go round. Like a record baby, right round, round round.

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F Everything
Dynamite Diva
Brandon Biebel

03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005


Critical Acclaim
"This is awesome!!"
- A Critic

Monday, October 31, 2005

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If you try to protect your backside,
I'll do it there, too.

posted by Poem Guy at 10:02 PM


Tuesday, September 13, 2005

my dog makes Big dookie
cause my dad Drives a suzuki. *

please Don't Eat the urinal cakes
cause michael j Fox has the Shakes. ^

posted by Poem Guy at 11:42 PM


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Taco in my hand
Be sure to ask for Fire Sauce
The Bell gives me gas

posted by Poem Guy at 11:03 PM


Friday, November 26, 2004

Hipitty dipitty doo
where did you take a poo?
Did you do it in the sink?
I think you did cuz it sure does stink,
Maybe in the bat mobile?
Maybe make sweet sweet love to a seal.
Oh poo, where art thou?
A flaming goat is shaving a cow.
I think I know where the poo might be...
I look in the toilet and what do I see!!!...
A little leprechaun with a twinkle in his eye and his hand in a poo
Silly little leprechaun didn't know what to do.
Yo momma is fat,
so I licked a rat.
The poo is safe in his bed all tucked in,
and something something that rhymes with in.

~Guest Entry by Jimmy~

posted by Poem Guy at 4:28 PM


Sunday, October 24, 2004

If your dingus is short
And your stream is weak
You'd better stand close
Or you'll piss on your feet

posted by Poem Guy at 10:35 AM


Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Poopy poopy
Sad and droopy
I like my cream corn
Extra soupy

I said Hey
Let's cut to the chase
So she finished her drink
And I finished on her face

posted by Poem Guy at 2:16 PM


Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I couldn't find a sock
So I jizzed in your shoe

posted by Poem Guy at 9:33 AM


Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Sometimes I just can't find the words
To tell you how I feel
But rest assured when I tell you
That how I feel is real

The way it burns from deep inside
I can't wait until I see ya
So I can thank you face to face
For giving me Gonorrhea

posted by Poem Guy at 12:31 PM


Thursday, June 03, 2004

My friend Ken is black
Loves him some big white women
Will work for fat ass

posted by Poem Guy at 10:26 AM


Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Sometimes it's windy
Sometimes it's not
My cousin Cindy
Used to smoke pot

She drove a Ford Tempo
And bumped Cypress Hill
She fucked lots of guys
And wasn't on the pill

When she got arrested
She claimed "cataracts"
She gave up the weed
And now she smokes crack

posted by Poem Guy at 10:41 AM


Monday, May 24, 2004

i hate the sun
i like the rain
sometimes i hurt myself
just to feel the pain

nobody likes me
cause i'm the fat goth chick
except for some of the black guys
because they say i'm "thick"

i want to live somewhere evil
it's hard to be goth in Branson
i'd sell my soul to the devil
to get peed on by Marilyn Manson

posted by Poem Guy at 4:34 PM


Sunday, May 16, 2004

Righty Tighty
Lefty Loosey
Your mom reminds me
Of Gary Busey

posted by Poem Guy at 4:19 AM


Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Patiently waiting
The elevator doors close
Time to fart is now

posted by Poem Guy at 1:08 PM


Friday, April 30, 2004

I am not a dog
I am not a cat
I am not a log
I am not a gnat

I am a goldfish
A goldfish through and through
And hanging from my ass
Is a long brown strand of pooh

You always forget to feed me
And last night I cried
Tonight I'll jump from my bowl
And commit fishy suicide

posted by Poem Guy at 9:39 AM


Mike Bibby is gay
Mike Bibby is very, very gay.
I don't have much else to say
Except that Mike Bibby is really really fucking gay.

posted by Poem Guy at 12:21 AM


Monday, April 26, 2004

I do not understand you, Mr. Foreign Man
You do not understand me, though you pretend that you can
You try to sell me Slurpees,
But your forehead has herpes
Please take your hot dog roller back to Pakistan.

posted by Poem Guy at 12:49 AM


An education
Is a most important thing.
For those without one
End up working at Burger King.

posted by Poem Guy at 12:48 AM


Re-arranging things is important
It can keep your life fresh
Cause if things were always the same
You'd be as boring as John Tesh

posted by Poem Guy at 12:47 AM


Friday, April 23, 2004

Born in Ohio
My parents are both Twinkies
Love creamy filling

posted by Poem Guy at 12:47 PM


Monday, April 19, 2004

My brother is ill
He has spinal meningitis
My mother has green poop
That's a symptom of colitis

Jill works at the strip club
She's an erotic dancer
She does a show with a broomstick
Now she has ovarian cancer

Kevin is blind like Ray Charles
That's why he wears shades
He also has sex with monkeys
That's why he has AIDS

posted by Poem Guy at 11:56 AM


Monday, April 12, 2004

Midgets are short,
They are not tall.
If you push one hard enough,
That midget might fall.

Midgets get tossed,
And kicked down stairs.
Midgets die everyday,
And nobody cares.

Maybe their mothers smoked while they were pregnant,
Or sniffed a lot of glue.
So be nice to a midget today,
Because midgets have feelings, too.

posted by Poem Guy at 1:47 PM


Four and three and two and one
Sex with Britney sounds like fun.
One and two and three and four
She likes the anal, of this I'm sure.

posted by Poem Guy at 10:06 AM


Thursday, April 08, 2004

Jen is a slut
She likes to smoke crack
I left a warm present
On the small of her back

posted by Poem Guy at 2:14 PM


Monday, April 05, 2004

I'm on my way back home,
Heading southbound on 35.
The wind greets me with a cool hello,
Reminding me I'm still alive.

I can't wait to see my baby,
Mom says she's quite a catch.
But if I find out she's been fucking Jerry,
I'm gonna kill that bag of snatch.

posted by Poem Guy at 5:05 AM


Sunday, April 04, 2004

Porn is good, Porn is great
Pornography helps me masturbate.

posted by Poem Guy at 6:52 PM


Friday, April 02, 2004



posted by Poem Guy at 2:28 AM


Friday, March 26, 2004

Jesus smoked pot
Jesus drank gin
Jesus liked to party
Jesus died for your sins

posted by Poem Guy at 11:32 AM


The Stars won the game, but Turco got suspended,
My Grandpa's still angry because slavery ended.

posted by Poem Guy at 11:08 AM


The Stars win, the Mavs lose,
Black people will steal your shoes.

posted by Poem Guy at 11:06 AM